Distance Becomes Bonding
Now and then meditation becomes more of a contemplation. Today my focused sitting ran into thoughts of an earlier troublesome relationship. I was reminded of the whole story by a sms a few weeks ago. And during my “meidtation” this morning I (at east I think so) experienced clarifyingthoughts of some of the mechanisms that keep “dead” relations “alive”.
- Trying to create distance actually strengthens bonding.
- Hatred strengthens self-hatred.
- Hurting the other is hurting oneself.
- Blaming the other increase negative self-talk about oneself.
- Attempts to avoid thoughts make the thoughts sticky.
- Fighting the other is a self-destructive mechanism.
- Attempts to extinguish a deprivation make the losses more profound.
Being interconnected with all beings, the ones we we would prefer not being connected with, have huge implications for behaviour. It is impossible to bring negative energy into the field of connectedness without oneself being influenced in a negative way. It’s like a boomerang. Bringing positive energy into the field of broken relations creates the space that enables us to really let go of what’s hurting us. To accept the paradoxes is the only way to solve them.
Illustration from “The Mind Unleashed”